" An old, fat grandpa fondling his grand-daughter inappropriately",
" The school van driver having time alone with a young girl in his van"
" The ayah at school, making stealthy trips to the wash-room with an unsuspecting child"
" The tuition master, going astray from his tuition"
These are tit bits of what I have seen in the media amidst countless other stories of incest, rape, sexual abuse/assault carried out on young children by adults in different parts of the world. Ideally, the westerners with low moral values, would indulge in this, or so we conveniently think, but the real picture is something that we sometimes deliberately choose to brush aside, because its unpleasant,shameful, disgraceful, stigmatizing, or we merely worry about what our neighbours will say.
Rings a bell?
Ding Ding! It happens in Sri Lanka too.
Child Sexual Abuse is the interaction between a child and an adult ( or another child) in which the child is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or an observer. It is a reality that is omnipresent in today's context, and there is an overdose of it in the media, bang in front of our eyes, but sometimes avoidance takes over, and that is what helps maintain this ugly phenomena, amongst other things. This article focusses on certain aspects that requires our attention in order to prevent child sexual abuse and also to intervene in the event that it does occur. It can happen to anyone's child.
First things first!
1. Child Sexual Abuse is wrong! No matter who does it.
2. The domination of the child is key here.
3. The child is not to be blamed.
4. The child does not understand the meaning/signs of sexual abuse.
5. It can happen anywhere, to anyone.
Forms of Child Sexual Abuse
1. Touching a child's genitals or making a child touch someone else's genitals.
2. Playing sexual games with the child " i.e. "pants down" games.
3. Putting any object/body part into the vagina,mouth,anus of the child.
4. Exposing one's genitals to the child.
5. Exposure to pornography.
6. Sexual acts with animals in front of children.
7. Photographing a child displaying sexual behaviour.
8. Coercing a child into prostitution.
9. Abusing another person in front of the child.
Who Abuses Children?
It is often someone close to the child that he/she trusts, and the offender may groom people around the child to establish trust. You as a parent,caregiver, teacher or just as a responsible citizen need to watch out for these behaviours and take appropriate action.
Grooming Behaviours
1. Offering to baby sit or taking the child on overnight outings alone.
2. Actively excluding a child from other adults and children.
3. Insisting on physical affection like kissing,petting and hugging.
4. Being overly interested in the sexual development of the child.
5. Increasingly spending time alone with the child.
6. Taking unnecessary pictures of the child.
7. Exposing one's genitals to the child.
Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
1. Sexualized behaviour that would be inappropriate for the child's age.
2. Exhibiting behavioural problems and you might also notice withdrawal, depression and over compliance to instructions.
3. Avoidance of certain people and places.
4. Imitating sexual sounds.
5. Mutism.
6. Repeating certain phrases i.e " Get Under" " Don't Tell" " Suck This".
7. Self injury ( cutting, banging head against the wall etc)
8. Unexplained gifts from 'new' friends.
9. Anxiety
10. Nightmares.
11. Bite marks, wounds, bleeding around the genitals, difficulty sitting or excreting, urinary problems, would also be possible indicators of sexual abuse.
What You Can Do
1. Believe your child when he/she reports something.
2. Have clear guidelines at home and also for when your child is outside.
3. Model privacy and appropriate behaviour at home ( Knock before you enter your child's room).
4. Bedrooms and bathrooms- Sexual abuse could occur here, so ensure privacy and also be alert.
5. No secrets.
6. Provide basic sex education.
7. Teach your child about good/bad touch.
8. Help your child be independent.
9. Teach your child to respect his/her body.
10. Trust your instincts.
It is essential that you report any suspicions of abuse taking place to relevant authorities and in the event that abuse has taken place, a medical examination is of utmost importance. Do not wash your child or change his/her clothes before the medical examination is carried out.
Where Can You Get Help?
Police: 119/118
National Child Protection Authority: 1929 ( Helpline)
ESCAPE: 0114954111
" The school van driver having time alone with a young girl in his van"
" The ayah at school, making stealthy trips to the wash-room with an unsuspecting child"
" The tuition master, going astray from his tuition"
These are tit bits of what I have seen in the media amidst countless other stories of incest, rape, sexual abuse/assault carried out on young children by adults in different parts of the world. Ideally, the westerners with low moral values, would indulge in this, or so we conveniently think, but the real picture is something that we sometimes deliberately choose to brush aside, because its unpleasant,shameful, disgraceful, stigmatizing, or we merely worry about what our neighbours will say.
Rings a bell?
Ding Ding! It happens in Sri Lanka too.
Child Sexual Abuse is the interaction between a child and an adult ( or another child) in which the child is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or an observer. It is a reality that is omnipresent in today's context, and there is an overdose of it in the media, bang in front of our eyes, but sometimes avoidance takes over, and that is what helps maintain this ugly phenomena, amongst other things. This article focusses on certain aspects that requires our attention in order to prevent child sexual abuse and also to intervene in the event that it does occur. It can happen to anyone's child.
First things first!
1. Child Sexual Abuse is wrong! No matter who does it.
2. The domination of the child is key here.
3. The child is not to be blamed.
4. The child does not understand the meaning/signs of sexual abuse.
5. It can happen anywhere, to anyone.
Forms of Child Sexual Abuse
1. Touching a child's genitals or making a child touch someone else's genitals.
2. Playing sexual games with the child " i.e. "pants down" games.
3. Putting any object/body part into the vagina,mouth,anus of the child.
4. Exposing one's genitals to the child.
5. Exposure to pornography.
6. Sexual acts with animals in front of children.
7. Photographing a child displaying sexual behaviour.
8. Coercing a child into prostitution.
9. Abusing another person in front of the child.
Who Abuses Children?
It is often someone close to the child that he/she trusts, and the offender may groom people around the child to establish trust. You as a parent,caregiver, teacher or just as a responsible citizen need to watch out for these behaviours and take appropriate action.
Grooming Behaviours
1. Offering to baby sit or taking the child on overnight outings alone.
2. Actively excluding a child from other adults and children.
3. Insisting on physical affection like kissing,petting and hugging.
4. Being overly interested in the sexual development of the child.
5. Increasingly spending time alone with the child.
6. Taking unnecessary pictures of the child.
7. Exposing one's genitals to the child.
Signs of Child Sexual Abuse
1. Sexualized behaviour that would be inappropriate for the child's age.
2. Exhibiting behavioural problems and you might also notice withdrawal, depression and over compliance to instructions.
3. Avoidance of certain people and places.
4. Imitating sexual sounds.
5. Mutism.
6. Repeating certain phrases i.e " Get Under" " Don't Tell" " Suck This".
7. Self injury ( cutting, banging head against the wall etc)
8. Unexplained gifts from 'new' friends.
9. Anxiety
10. Nightmares.
11. Bite marks, wounds, bleeding around the genitals, difficulty sitting or excreting, urinary problems, would also be possible indicators of sexual abuse.
What You Can Do
1. Believe your child when he/she reports something.
2. Have clear guidelines at home and also for when your child is outside.
3. Model privacy and appropriate behaviour at home ( Knock before you enter your child's room).
4. Bedrooms and bathrooms- Sexual abuse could occur here, so ensure privacy and also be alert.
5. No secrets.
6. Provide basic sex education.
7. Teach your child about good/bad touch.
8. Help your child be independent.
9. Teach your child to respect his/her body.
10. Trust your instincts.
It is essential that you report any suspicions of abuse taking place to relevant authorities and in the event that abuse has taken place, a medical examination is of utmost importance. Do not wash your child or change his/her clothes before the medical examination is carried out.
Where Can You Get Help?
Police: 119/118
National Child Protection Authority: 1929 ( Helpline)
ESCAPE: 0114954111
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